Family Ouse 7

Previously on Family Ouse 6... Read here.

Family Ouse 7 continues...

The service year was gradually travelling to its final bus stop and the nearer it sped towards home, the more apprehensive some brethren began sounding.

They initial Abeg-what-is-19,800-Who-e-epp attitude was already dehydrating, if not ‘drated’, as corps members began to realize that just very soon, no Okada was gonna carry you across town on an almost free, na-cofa, ride, unless you choose to live by the khaki Id forever, which no corps member ever appears eager to do.

Na the cliché pretense nah, some corpers go like say allowee for stay till after dem born grandchildren sef, but everybody go follow everyboby dey ask, “who 19,800 epp?!” E epp cofa! Ask them! Allowee was 12 days late, twasn’t FUNNY at all. You know family houses’ pipu sometimes can be toooo BROKE, abi na still pretense?!

Sha, they were broke, at least the poor, unsuspecting brothers who had been showing sisters GODLY LOVE, busy footing all their sweet-tooth expenses, which on the surface had appeared as “…nooo, it’s nothing at all…” until allowee no come show for one week plus. Nearly all sisters had subscribed for the ouse’ monthly feeding plan, but the house still needed pay cos only few brothers could afford to subscribe.

The PHILANTHROPIST brothers were slacking, plenry of them. Being indebted is a bad weight you just carry about, cannot be helped, whenever you see your creditor, sweat go just dey full your body, AC or not. Indebtedness bad, you just aint comfortable cos you’re indebted.

That’s what debtorhood does to you; it keeps you there, beneath the creditor. Brothers’ wey dey owe come dey feel say everybody don sabi, the period wasn’t funny for any ower. Announcements began frequenting the evenings and they were VERY consistent, not just during meetings, twas like someone was enjoying the ‘harrassment’. Mama put the Megaphone to constant use, bad market for dem philanthropists. “Brethren, this his (is) the kitchen calling, a call to remind hall (all) indebted Jesus Corpers that the kitchen lacks funds to feed hits (its) many shildren…”

The perspiration in David’s lair, brothers’ common room, grew intense. “….Remember the bible says howe (owe) no man nothing but love, howe (owe) the kitchen nothing but your food flask, if you’re howing more than your foodflask, the Lord requires you to eed (heed) Is (His) word. Brethren….” Bro Abayomi had had it up to here, why now,eh?! He knew Bro. Chidike would be chief perspire in the house. Chidike was or maybe thought he was an answer to Sis Dikachi’s every sweet-tooth prayers, his efforts were never rewarded even. Imagine a brother showing family love to all them gluttony sisters.

Bayo wished Mama would just go meet each debtor and quit shattering the hot afternoon peace with her sing-song voice. It’s called HOPE! You know BROTHERLY HOPE nah? You’ll be showing plenty love where dem no send you work, hoping that one of your nets would catch sisterly fish. Your time started tomorrow… Chidike was distraught, why now of all months was monthly subscription being announced like this? Shey service go soon end so all this insults go stop.

Mama herself dey there the claim saint, she dey subscribe? She know wetin subscription dey cost? Nah God go forgive every sister wey no gree leave meat pie and zobo! He left the room, intention was to take a walk to clear his head and forget the Change Government and the ridicule of being a part cause of the megaphone noise.

To think it was his first indebtedness, he was going to make it his last nonetheless. “Awww, Chi Dyke, have I seen you today? Sure you went to your PPA? Chi Dyke come and buy meat pie for me now?” Dikachi had been at the verge of paying for the steaming meat pie before he came along, she quickly asked Welfo to add a second and a bottle of Zobo. “HIRE PURCHASE the minimart sef!!!” that was all he could do to stop from using the “OLEBRUKU!” or its synonyms that had instantly filled his head at such supersonic speed.

Some sisters really needed more JESUS! He didn’t even indulge her a glance as he stormed off. Better to flee temptation!