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Waiting for the "Opportunity" that will make you blow

Chimdindu Ugwuanyi | Friday, 13 January 2017 | | | Be the first to Respond!
"I will soon blow"

"blow to where?", I asked the young man. 

When all you do is sit here throwing things into your mouth and calling on every lady that passes by. Obi's face has become a sign post to locate either the school or Mama Neye's shop. 

It was one of those days I had to pick my brothers from school and the teacher remembers to display all her teaching skills. And everyone had to wait outside the school gate to pick their kids or siblings. I decided to sit at Mama Neye's shop who was our usual gala and lacasera customer. I can't even explain exactly how I got into this discussion with this guy but you know when it's supposed to be an interaction but at this point you just sit mute starring. 

So this particular day he was telling me how he will become successful when the time comes. That his opportunity will come soon. He was so defensive and didn't allow anyone interrupt his speech, so I just watched him rant. 

The truth is that just like Newton's 1st law of motion 'an object either remains at rest unless acted upon by a net force.' Many people sit down doing nothing and keep waiting for this opportunity that will make them blow. 

My dear, you can't risk your life to that, create opportunities for yourself. We think success is an opportunity or event, so we wait for it. This is a deception. An opportunity may help you but it won't guarantee your success. 

We believe success comes from luck, so we hope for it. Sweetheart, you may hope to the grave. Some think success is leverage and recognition, so they strive for that. See, being in all those top political or powerful positions does not mean you are successful. 

Then others think success comes from connections, so they network for it. Success is in how you treasure and maximize today, yesterday is gone and you can't depend on tomorrow. Living today at its best is living successful.

So, are you waiting for the opportunity that will make you blow?
Think again...

Family Ouse 9

Ihuoma Chidire | Wednesday, 11 January 2017 | | | Be the first to Respond!
That was the story behind Dikachi’s journey to RAINBOWING, the sister began combining, it wasn’t here o. On one Sunday, they saw; Purple beret, yellow blazer, she had a truck load of dem blazers, black and green stripped skirt, white camisole, purple rose, red wrist watch, red, yellow and green polka dotted handbag with black shoes and a white handkerchief, she never went without a kerchief. Ada knew G-Aunty was only appearing this way cos of her challenge but she wouldn’t let it slide. She kept making exaggerated sympathetic remarks of sisters with ill- taste fashion buds and the alarming increase of disciples being recruited in the ouse, intending to slight Dikachi who was hanging around Chizzy and Ossai more often now, having lost most of her acknowledged friends to the POP-divide.
One of those days, think on a Saturday, while they were decorating the sanctuary, Sister Obia walked in, she’d just come in from the market, and was spotting a collared A-line pink gown that had an attached white camisole and pink snickersish ropes that could be drawn and knotted as you’ud your snickers and of course pink belt, she’d securely knotted this behind. A red handbag hung from her right shoulder probably to match the red wrist watch she wore. She wore the Nude flats, sweet potatoes nude.

“SIS.tah Chezzi guraftahnoon” Obia’s spirits were HIGH,

“Ehn, ah Obia, I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you all this while, good afternoon dear,” She turned to greet properly, recognizing the voice first,

“Sister, where are you coming from glittering like this nah? You’ud be enjoying alone, eating your allowee yasef yasef” Ada who’d been sitting with her back to the sanctuary entrance, supplying bellow-belt humour aimed at ‘destroying’ the ego of foes like Dikachi et al, swung round.

“Jesus o, Orbi, ina ete kwa ka anwu o. You’re shinning like the sun o.” Ada exclaimed, genuinely shocked at the choice of colour combo. Obia was all grins already,

“nnwanne madu, it isu God o. Person sister, it’s God o.”

“My dear, God is sooo good He makes you shine like the RAINBOW!” Ada couldn’t resist the bite. Chizzy cleared her throat and tried to catch Ossai’s eye, that one was already snickering, though a lil embarrassed all the same. Only they knew what exactly their friend was up to.

“hehe, SIS.tah Ahda, you are soh funny, which one is lainbow?!”

“Ask yasef nah, you came in looking all RAINBOW. Nna, combination giwa n’abazikwa na anya, o n’achazikwa ka decoration material. (literally) your combination is entering the eye o, it’s coloured like this decoration material.”

Sis Obia was only beginning to get the point however slow. Chizzy quickly intervened,

“Orbi, pls go and change up if you want to and come join us, we need more hands dear, not everyone here is willing to help.” She eyeballed Ada.

“Eh o, every man should mine his field in this harvest o. Do I use to ask anybody to come and help me pray in intercessory unit? Bikonu, mine your field, lemme mine my own. Even Jesus said the Labourers are few, so oburo this one you’re saying now!”

“Ada ehn, you’re impossible, tufia!” Chizzy bantered.

“Ehn, are we not all impossible?! All these people that would be combining aggressive colours and shinning like rainbow, looking like your deco materials are they possible? Rappu dah thing, nobody is possible, only with God is everything possible.” Ada was enjoying Dikachi’s silence, what could she even say.

“Ada shift biko, ina ako off point every time.” Chinenye joined.

“As in eh, OFF THE HOOK.” Chizzy echoed, waving her right hand twice in short movements.

“Which one is off ther hoork, eh Chizzy? See, off ther hoork or not, my own cannot be worse than Bro. Abana’s off point o. Stay and be forming English, don’t tell all these colour-abusing brethren to repect dress sense small.” She winked at her friends and nodded in Dikachi’s direction; it was her secret victory sign, one the other two understood and were helpless about.

They could not stop Ada’s villainous vain attacks on unsuspecting brethren, all they always could do was sympathize with the victim who often never knows he/she is a victim or even a side-victim, cos in such onslaughts, there were always side-victims, like today, Obia had been the side-victim. Ada’s taking her on was just a bait to lure Dikachi into the conversion so she could tell her just what she thought of her recent fashion-preferences. It pained Chizzy that Ada should know better; Dikachi’s clothes were sent back home so she’s been trying to made do with what she still had left. Ada should just let things rest really.

Ada walked off flashing her dentition in very gay spirits, she hoped Queen G-Aunty and the Rainbow famille represented in the Deco team would have learnt a lesson or two. She only wished G-Aunty had said a word, just one word, so she’ud have told her to her face that she’s crowned her, Acting President, Rainbow Brethren Associates. She felt the victory thrill again; this POP-divide wasn’t this bad after all now.

Family Ouse 8

Ihuoma Chidire | Wednesday, 30 November 2016 | | | Be the first to Respond!
The ouse was mildly boring now, majorly for the left-behind Batch B Corps Members. Let's not be Chimamanda; her knack for the 'mild' word endears her to the heart often, reality was the ouse was BORING, scanty-boring. The Batch A, stream 1 Jesus Corpers were gone, solely courtesy of the misplaced directive from the Federal Quarters, absolutely misplaced.
Nonetheless Ada wasn't the least peturbed, the trio were still around, twas really a good thing they had all been dispatched as stream 2. Her joy wasn't exactly just that, twas also the frustration the POP-divide seemingly planted on the brows of not-exactly-friends brethren, Dikachi; the sister’s love for Queen’s Anglais had never settled well with Ada, it just reminded her how Nigerianly Igbo she often sounded, Abayomi; forgiving Bayo was still a battle she wasn’t about to quit fighting; Tc; got too endeared to Chizzy at some point and left Ada feeling threatened, she learnt to accept her as a friend’s friend, however painfully, so knowing Tc wasn’t finding the extended POP funny gave her a kinda victory-thrill, Tc’s almost perpetual brooding was just apt in keeping Chizzy farther from her and closer to the trio, and other brethren who unsurprisingly didn't make it to her GOOD BOOKS within the one year NYSC crisscrossed their paths.

Ada was like that, you got penned down in her illusionary ''ah don like this one' book for OVERDOING, posing a threat/competition, showing yasefeh et etcetera. And you know some brethrenS are gifted in overdoing nah, trying to act all Porsche; manufacturing unsolicited r’s in words; ill fitted Americanizing. That’s, you “praise ther Lorrrd” not “the Lord” or even “dah Lod”, the latter’s more acceptable to Ada; Igbo geh she be. Having the form of OVERZEALOUSNESS or an appearance of it; you're simply the 'zeal without knowledge' category, Bro. Abana’s type; eager to showcase your ‘apparent lack’ of knowledge in meetings, bible studies your HEROIC stage. 
Then the RAINBOW brethren; spotting those eye-shuttering, AGRESSIVE colour shade combinasions; tatashi Red this, ripe cashew Yellow that, MS word Blue this, Super Eagles Green that, Chidire’s stiletto Orange this, a lil touch of Chichi’s bridal Purple that, then the clown apparel is crowned with the now ill-trending sweet potatoes Nude flats. Noticeably and without prejudice anyway, the RAINBOW brethren where majorly residential in Eastern Nigeria; mostly Anambra and Abia states and their immediate neighbours, say Delta, Enugu, Akwa-Ibom, Imo, Ebonyi, and etc, however few though, mean the immediate neighbours.

Ada and Dikachi had no direct feud; Dikachi just kept to herself, not exactly keep-keep, but she would likely not add more to a ‘hello’ she says to you except you say more and her reply even at that would be a polite, “I’m fine, thank you.” Let’s just say she is the supposedly introvert type who’s kinda extrovert with her friends only, however she makes ‘those’ friends. So until she’s spoken to, she’s with herself, by herself, that’s if her ‘acknowledged’ friends are MIA. 
Ada did not exactly like Dikachi, not because she was always thanking the “Lord for a refreshing in His presence” in supposed Queen’s Anglais whenever she co-ordinated meetings, or that Chizzy somewhat became one of her acknowledged friends, twas just that she a threat, competition, for Ada. You know how brothers annoyingly tell you that they like quite sisters every time a seemingly quite sister walks by, they often never get to know these persons close up, just because the sister(s) no dey give them face, makes them, ‘...like quiet sisters.’ Dikachi was that seemingly ‘quiet’ type brothers always confessed taking a liking to, triggering Ada’s sense of competition. They should be liking nah, Ada sef LIKEs quiet brothers.

Ada didn’t fancy being told she was noisy, loud, sanguine, or etc. She wasn’t exactly sanguine, but could get so animated and aggressive you’ud think she was all San-choleric. Those seasonal, energetic displays could only be achieved by an ALL THE WAY extrovert, and Ada wasn’t even extro. She wasjust that unique blend nobody could tell when and how what went wrong did. She and Dikachi were both Mel-Phelgs, though she alone knew that. Hold o, Dikachi knew too. Ada felt the unspoken resentment from her sometime, twas VERY mutual, they didn’t have to say anything to each other. 
T'was the day Chizzy introduced Dikachi, in her the-more-the-merrier way, “Ada come and meet our new sister-friend, Onyedikachi, but everybody calls her Dikachi now, courtesy of Brother Uche....” Ada had spontaneously asked “who’s ‘our’?”even before she sat up in bed where she’d been curled up, reading Randy Alcorn’s PURITY PRINCIPLE. Chizzy replied “Ossai and I nah, she joined our deco team and we’ud be, Ossai and I, her direct coaches, can you imagine? Shey you’ve refused to join us, we’re still increasing everyday o.” Ada just said “hello,” not bothering with the G-Aunty title that accrued Dikachi’s status as an immediate past AGS. Their eyes met and despite the smile, “we don’t like us” was an unspoken message between both.

Dikachi was an ex- State Exco, the immediate past Assistant General Secretary; G-Aunty, and so stayed in Deborah’s Corner; the room that housed all female State Excos, immediate past and present. Ada was not that waist-giving type, never. 
In Mbaise, one is said to “were ukpu ya nye ha” when you belittle yourself or let’s just say, when you lack self respect that authors your being taken for granted. Ada had an over dose of self respect, she would never ‘were ukwu ya nye’ those sisters, excos or ex, never, not even in the Ouse, some brethren were just VERY Mafia in abusing such privileges. This ideology of hers was the reason she made no efforts to build any relations whatsoever with a plethora of sisters in the Ouse, especially female excos; their apparent Self-Constructed Spiritual Ecstasy was already an offensive deterrent, sufficient in itself.

It suddenly hit Ada one day that Dikachi sef nah RAINBOW sister, spiritual and rainbow ; you’ll be combining those colours and you’ll now be packaging yasef like Queen Obama and thanking God for a refreshing in His presence anyhow, colour-blocking all the anointing. She was overjoyed, at least something to gloat about, was she thrilled?!

Dikachi had, like her organized self would do, sent her belongings home a week to the initial POP day for Batch A’s, that was before the news that Stream 2 would now leave a month after shattered hopes. Ada learnt later that when the authenticity of the news was verified and announced via the Ouse’s Megaphone, G-Aunty cried in her room, Chizzy told her that much. Ada had joyously asked Chizzy to help convey her embarrassment on G-Aunty’s behalf to G-Aunty. 
To her, crying was overdoing, what was the intended achievement? Sympathy? She nonetheless enjoyed the knowledge that her chief COMPETITON was emotionally weaker. Ada had nothing to lose, she wasn’t exactly sure where she was headed after service year and so the longer the evil day was moved the better...

Run away from the noise

Koinonite | Thursday, 10 November 2016 | | | Be the first to Respond!
Have you notice that they will post pictures on social media and a large number click and 'like'?

They post Church/government rumor, many click and digest and even forward on.

But a few post the following kind of messages and it is boring to their eyes, what a generation🤗

Please take the next few minutes and read this life-altering article from my like-minded in Christ, feel free to share it; it is needed at this time.

"The blaring (loud unpleasant noise) music from the speakers of the stereo, prevented Lady A who was standing afar off, from hearing clearly the words of Lady B. But if Lady A was determined to know what Lady B had to say due to the importance of the 'information', all lady A needed to do was to move closer to lady B and listen attentively! ISN'T IT???

Likewise also, no matter the 'noise' around today, via false prophets, worldly songs and videos from the entertainment industry, high rate of moral decadence, etc; the VOICE OF TRUTH cannot be silenced nor changed. It is now left for whoever cares to listen to the Voice of Truth, knowing it's importance, and that it is LIFE to his/her soul; to move closer to the SOURCE(God), Read His MANUAL (Bible), and give full concentration, avoiding the 'distracting noise'!

These days, we see a lot of misinterpretation to God's Word all in the bid to satisfy the flesh, a lot of preachers(even social media preachers) who now fail to speak the Truth on Holiness to their congregation, just because of their selfish gains; all they do is make 'empty proclamations'! A lot of 'it doesn't matter', worldliness even in the church; all in the bid to CHANGE, SILENCE, DILUTE THE TRUTH.

This has even made a lot to be confused as to know what God's Word really says; and many have left the narrow way to the broad way, where anything goes!!! BUT, I tell you, whether we like it or not; WE HAVE NO EXCUSE! We have the Bible, The Holy Spirit, and other Faithful Preachers of God's Word, if indeed we desire to what the TRUTH is, what GOD's Word really stands for, and His Pattern of Holiness!

This is also a CHALLENGE to those who have been saved by Grace, and God has revealed HIS TRUTH to them; but fail to preach this TRUTH to others, fail to rescue the perishing: Ezekiel 3:18 says: "When I say unto the wicked, thou shalt surely die; and you givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but HIS Blood WILL I REQUIRE AT THINE HAND".

WHATEVER FORM YOUR MESSAGE/TEACHINGS TAKES, IF IN THE END, IT DOES NOT POINT OTHERS TO CHRIST, THEN IT IS 'MERE NOISE'! The 'TRUTH TELLERS' have their reward in Heaven, the 'NOISE MAKERS' have their reward in Hell; what group do you belong?

My Beloved brothers/sisters, irrespective of the 'noise' around, the Word of God remains unchanged! It is wise for us not to be carried away, but FOCUS on the TRUTH God has given to us, and hold on to it tightly!

The world is preparing for the Antichrist, let's make our 'VOICE OF TRUTH' loud enough even to our immediate family, and let's all get prepared for the imminent return of Christ; it is just around 'the corner'! Let's keep our eyes fixed on the PRIZE, and not be distracted from the narrow way. My Beloved, whatever it will take us to walk that street of gold, to enter in through the pearly gates of Heaven, to wear that golden crown; Let us all do!!!
I'll also like to invite you, still living in sin, to COME INTO THE ARK (JESUS) NOW; because, the 'flood of God's wrath and indignation' is coming upon this world! JESUS is the ONLY WAY, and He is going to judge all based on His Word! Your Pastor, friends, parents, cannot save you on that day; NO EXCUSE will be tenable on that day!

Mere Religion cannot save you, PRACTICAL LIFE OF HOLINESS WITHIN and WITHOUT is the key! ACT FAST! ACT RIGHT! ACT NOW!!! Revelation 20:15: "And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire". WHERE IS YOUR (MY) NAME WRITTEN??? "

Give your life to Jesus today, and be set free. Look for a bible believing Church and grow in your faith.

Blessings, Mrs. Rabi E. [Original article from Funmibi O.]

Courtesy pays

Ihuoma Chidire | Friday, 4 November 2016 | | | Be the first to Respond!
You see, this young man entered the cab without my casting a second glance, but from my side view I knew he was dark, at least that much needed no not-minding-my-business to be seen. Some seconds after he sat, I saw a colleague-cum-hihi-friend and enthused from the cab all that, 'where's you doing the externship bla bla' and etc.
Then out of nowhere, after we had just moved off, Jonny-just-enter asked strongly,
"what level are you?"

"I'm not a student" I replied plainly, with soooo much sarcasm-intent.

"You have grajd?" (slang for graduated I believe) Jonny ventured again.

"mn" I must have mumbled, so dazed that people were still THIS rude.

My point exactly; a lil, 'hello', 'hi there' or even 'sorry' before the SILLY, quiet offensive, very-rude, off-the-point question was 'imposed' would have been a manner-so-approachable. Nobody's 'feeling hot' here, don't get this wrong, just that my state of shock showed that I NEVER imagined people could replace hello with, "what level are you?
What uncivility?! (if the word's still in vogue, that is).
All the same, let's learn to be polite! You could never imagine what DOORS of INFORMATION a little politeness, courtesy, could open up for you!

And for the records, I silently dared Jonny-Rudey to ask just one more question, one more, so I'ud ask, "How many wives does your Dad have?" Just to see his re-action! Cos on his face would have been my earlier re-action staring me in the face.


Family Ouse 7

Ihuoma Chidire | Monday, 31 October 2016 | | | Be the first to Respond!
Family Ouse
Previously on Family Ouse 6... Read here.

Family Ouse 7 continues...
The service year was gradually travelling to its final bus stop and the nearer it sped towards home, the more apprehensive some brethren began sounding.

They initial Abeg-what-is-19,800-Who-e-epp attitude was already dehydrating, if not ‘drated’, as corps members began to realize that just very soon, no Okada was gonna carry you across town on an almost free, na-cofa, ride, unless you choose to live by the khaki Id forever, which no corps member ever appears eager to do.
Na the cliché pretense nah, some corpers go like say allowee for stay till after dem born grandchildren sef, but everybody go follow everyboby dey ask, “who 19,800 epp?!” E epp cofa! Ask them! Allowee was 12 days late, twasn’t FUNNY at all. You know family houses’ pipu sometimes can be toooo BROKE, abi na still pretense?!
Sha, they were broke, at least the poor, unsuspecting brothers who had been showing sisters GODLY LOVE, busy footing all their sweet-tooth expenses, which on the surface had appeared as “…nooo, it’s nothing at all…” until allowee no come show for one week plus. Nearly all sisters had subscribed for the ouse’ monthly feeding plan, but the house still needed pay cos only few brothers could afford to subscribe.
The PHILANTHROPIST brothers were slacking, plenry of them. Being indebted is a bad weight you just carry about, cannot be helped, whenever you see your creditor, sweat go just dey full your body, AC or not. Indebtedness bad, you just aint comfortable cos you’re indebted.
That’s what debtorhood does to you; it keeps you there, beneath the creditor. Brothers’ wey dey owe come dey feel say everybody don sabi, the period wasn’t funny for any ower. Announcements began frequenting the evenings and they were VERY consistent, not just during meetings, twas like someone was enjoying the ‘harrassment’. Mama put the Megaphone to constant use, bad market for dem philanthropists. “Brethren, this his (is) the kitchen calling, a call to remind hall (all) indebted Jesus Corpers that the kitchen lacks funds to feed hits (its) many shildren…”
The perspiration in David’s lair, brothers’ common room, grew intense. “….Remember the bible says howe (owe) no man nothing but love, howe (owe) the kitchen nothing but your food flask, if you’re howing more than your foodflask, the Lord requires you to eed (heed) Is (His) word. Brethren….” Bro Abayomi had had it up to here, why now,eh?! He knew Bro. Chidike would be chief perspire in the house. Chidike was or maybe thought he was an answer to Sis Dikachi’s every sweet-tooth prayers, his efforts were never rewarded even. Imagine a brother showing family love to all them gluttony sisters.
Bayo wished Mama would just go meet each debtor and quit shattering the hot afternoon peace with her sing-song voice. It’s called HOPE! You know BROTHERLY HOPE nah? You’ll be showing plenty love where dem no send you work, hoping that one of your nets would catch sisterly fish. Your time started tomorrow… Chidike was distraught, why now of all months was monthly subscription being announced like this? Shey service go soon end so all this insults go stop.
Mama herself dey there the claim saint, she dey subscribe? She know wetin subscription dey cost? Nah God go forgive every sister wey no gree leave meat pie and zobo! He left the room, intention was to take a walk to clear his head and forget the Change Government and the ridicule of being a part cause of the megaphone noise.
To think it was his first indebtedness, he was going to make it his last nonetheless. “Awww, Chi Dyke, have I seen you today? Sure you went to your PPA? Chi Dyke come and buy meat pie for me now?” Dikachi had been at the verge of paying for the steaming meat pie before he came along, she quickly asked Welfo to add a second and a bottle of Zobo. “HIRE PURCHASE the minimart sef!!!” that was all he could do to stop from using the “OLEBRUKU!” or its synonyms that had instantly filled his head at such supersonic speed.
Some sisters really needed more JESUS! He didn’t even indulge her a glance as he stormed off. Better to flee temptation!